Lyrics

Are Your Offspring Loud, Expensive, Unproductive?
Stop Coddling.
Start Capitalizing
With the Haygood Jr. Vocational Academy.
We Don’t Waste Time on Play.
We Focus on Small Motor Dexterity Skills,
Perfect for Assembly Work.
Your Child Will Learn the Value of Hard Labor,
Because They Will be Doing it Twelve Hours a Day.
Tuition is Free.
We Simply Claim Their Industrial Output
As Interest on Your Life Debt.
Haygood.
It’s Never Too Early to Clock in.